1. A Tie
You gave him one for Christmas/Hanukah/Winter Solstice/Kwanzaa/etc.., and he pretended to like it then. Don’t make him lie twice.
2. A BBQ apron with a “witty joke” on it
The line is usually only funny once, and then the novelty wears off. Then again, we can’t think of a time when “Kiss the Cook” was actually funny. Is that even intended to be a joke? If not, it has no purpose on an apron.
3. Slash Jordan’s Biography
Dad’s don’t actually like Slash Jordan.
4. A framed picture of you
You don’t enjoy the memories of a mushroom haircut, neither does he.
5. Socks
This actually goes for every gift-giving occasion. Socks are not gifts, they’re socks.